On Being a Woman
Part I: What does it mean to be a woman today?
To be a woman today is to be damaged, troubled, demented, deranged, fragmented, bipolar, schizoid, confused, insecure. Everyday you play in a constant tug-of-war of the past and the future, always adjusting to whatever it is the world requires. The world, so obviously aware of your power, tries to limit your existence, box you within the confines of their needs, afraid of the moment you become aware of your power and begin to wield it upon them.
To be a woman today is still very much what it’s like to be years ago. Perhaps even a decade ago, except for the ridiculous hairstyles, half-slips and unflattering oversized underwears. From the very moment you were conceived and bore the XY chromosomes, you future is pretty much sealed. Thanks to a cycle call history. You are a prey, and you would be, at least for the next few years. Your aging grandpa, your dad, your curious brother or troubled cousin, your houseboy. You are to live in pink and plenty of toys that conditions you on your future princess cum housewife status. These toys includes baby dolls that drink, milk and for hell’s sake, pee; Barbie dolls that are enough to make us green with their accessories; fairytale stories that could be blame for what is now a mental condition called Cinderella Syndrome. Your childhood is the beginning of the conditioning. To be a girl is already dangerous. To be a girl and a kid doubles it. You are powerless. You are prone to abuse.
Come adolescence and what you have is curiosity, and a good doze of raging hormones. This is where the trouble begins. Where to look at? Family. Peers. Media. What you will have by then is a mix and match of conflicting ideas just enough to drive you nuts. You begin to have issues with your body, depending on the preferences prescribed by your own culture, or the society. You have parents who teach you virtues from Sunday schools but do otherwise. You read about the 60’s, Western concept of women liberation and wonders if it’s not another propaganda to serve men themselves. You decided to embrace half of it, wear skirts and make-ups for empowerment, explore your sexuality but you are called slut by the same men you slept with, by the same people who taught you that sexual liberty is the way to do be free. You are Eve for the religious and the misogynist. Only they didn’t realize that the pain inflicted by other women to some men is in fact a repercussion of the system they perpetuate themselves. You are also Magdalene and the words they slur on you are bitch, slut, whore, the likes. But then again you read somewhere that Magdalene is Jesus’ wife. You realize that perhaps, Jesus would have been a better lover compared to ones you had.
You feel lost. You cry. Now they call you emotional. Never mind that these people seem to lack the urge to at least do they research to know that women’s tear gland is shallower than men. Then someone from your history class declared that women are incapable decision-makers because they are too emotional. You know better that there is no difference between what a man and a woman feels, only what is it that the society allows. You know women are more open with their emotions because they are allowed to do so while men tend to suppress it because it has been conditioned that showing emotions is a feminine quality, thus making it weak. You know that but you also know better now to keep your mouth shut. It’s scary to be considered a feminist. Since when did being one becomes so bad to a point of ridicule, you will never know, only that some so-called revolutionary groups denounce it saying it create divides. Maybe when the word equality was rendered, who knows. You understand. That, the Madonna complex, the fear of not having control over things they don’t have power with, and the fear that awareness might put them in a slanted position without anyone to fuck. You understand because you’re a woman and this time, it is scientifically proven. You are not expected to engage in public fights but to turn the anger inward because there’s a certain indention in your brain that makes you holistic and better in seeing the entirety of any situation. It doesn’t matter that your serotonin level is 56% lower than men making you more prone to depression. What matters is that it is better to own your anger than release it and be called cheap or “palengkera”, of which you will not to know what is so bad of, while men can stupidly pick fights and get away with it with pride. You accept that, thinking it must be the doing of your own physical limitations so you think of another way to release the anger but before you are able to execute it, you are told that it’s not plausible for a woman to sleep around. You are to know that the specific compartment of your brain that gets stimulated during sexual intercourse is the same one that produces your attachment hormones making every sexual act more emotional compared to men who, according to studies, can compartmentalize. You think it’s unfair and thinks that maybe they just want an excuse for their sowing-seed mentality. You wonder if science is another propaganda to instill fear, twisted like history itself which is mostly but a written memoir on who overpowered whom within a specific timeframe. Of course you also know that in relation to being animals, of which they always use as a valid reason, such mentality is a form of defense mechanism. That was anthrobiology speaking. You remember ant hierarchies.
So somewhere in the middle of your confusion, you get tired competing for men and fighting for something that generates nothing but mockery, sometimes even from members of your own specie. You forgive. You understand. It’s the system. Hate the game not the players, they say. You let go. You let go of the thought that maybe men do think that sex is an act of killing, that maybe breast-sucking is indeed a “missing-mom” syndrome. Or maybe, you had a serious Freudian damage. What you understand though is that your biological clock is ticking. You need to propagate. That is either anthrobiology speaking, or a lingering look from your mom that pressures you.
You try normalcy this time and buy the hype about marriage being the joyous moment of any woman’s life. After all, you like the small promise of security. Never mind that if ever you become a human punching bag, you still couldn’t get divorce. There’s annulment anyway, only it costs a leg and years of struggle, depending on your social status. You have kids, a pair of sagging breasts and bottoms. You have your maternity issues that can sometimes be the reason for work discrimination. You are till prone to abuse- verbal and physical. But you will understand because you are a woman, you have kids, and you understand that some men can’t handle the responsibilities the culture handed upon them. You justify his every action as a manifestation of anything that occurred in the past and damaged him in a way. You know because you are just like that, but you know better to realize and learn. So you let him displaced his anger, his frustrations on everything that they feel powerful over with, like you and the kids, than to have him commit suicide. You have kids to feed and a broken home means a lifetime of mockery for your kids.
You are lucky to grow old but your sexual libido has left you with a philandering hubby, suffering from post midlife crisis. You let it pass. It is your fault that you are a sexual dysfunction and your breasts are wrinkled like prunes. Do not be surprised if one day, the security you worked so hard to maintain will fall easily on the hands of a young girl the age of your granddaughter. But still, you will understand. This is the way of the world, and the system is smart enough to monopolize it. You will understand that to fight with each other, that to women-hate is what the system wants. You understand, not only because you’re a damaged, troubled, demented, deranged, fragmented, bipolar, schizoid, confused, insecure woman, but an experienced one. You always know better it seems.
Part II: What does it mean to be a ‘thinking’ woman today?
[Insert names here.]
Part III: What does it mean to be a ‘good’ woman today?
“Most men love oral sex. Some men even prefer a blow job to full sex. So as oral sex is such a big deal for the boys, we ought to know how to do it well.
Going down on, giving head, sucking off, mouth f***, there are plenty of ways to describe the act of oral sex, but they're all talking about the same thing - sexual pleasure, down there, using your mouth.
What is oral sex (blow job)?
To give the Latin name, fellatio, (aka blow job), is an oral sex act which involves stimulating the penis using the tongue, lips and mouth. Most men are fans of the blow job as it gives him intense sexual sensations and can bring him to orgasm.
How to give oral sex:
As a rule, oral sex should mimic the movements of full sex penetration and while it's called a blow job - there's no blowing involved! Don't make that rookie mistake!
Instead, blow like a pro and take his penis into your mouth, (with plenty of spit) and suck up and down his shaft mimicking the thrusting motion of penetration, taking care not to graze his 'friend' with your teeth. Remember when it comes to sucking him off, teeth are never welcome.
One thing men don’t like is mechanical oral sex, performed without passion. He wants to know that you're enjoying it as much as him, so vary your rhythm, speed and intensity. Try gently caressing his testicles and then try upping the pace for a few strokes. Take him to the edge then bring him back from the brink to get him revved up and eager for more.
Lick, suck and play with his erect penis using your tongue. Don't be shy to make eye contact too. To make sure you’re hitting the spot, watch and listen to his reactions. Ask him what he likes. All men are different and he'll be thrilled that you want to know exactly how to please him.
Giving good head isn't rocket science, but there are some top tips, tried and tested, that will help make your next blow job one to remember. Read on for the so feminine secrets on how to be a 'head' mistress. Oh yeah.”
Learn to give the best blowjobs. It does wonders.
-Brigida Batungbakal
Part I: What does it mean to be a woman today?
To be a woman today is to be damaged, troubled, demented, deranged, fragmented, bipolar, schizoid, confused, insecure. Everyday you play in a constant tug-of-war of the past and the future, always adjusting to whatever it is the world requires. The world, so obviously aware of your power, tries to limit your existence, box you within the confines of their needs, afraid of the moment you become aware of your power and begin to wield it upon them.
To be a woman today is still very much what it’s like to be years ago. Perhaps even a decade ago, except for the ridiculous hairstyles, half-slips and unflattering oversized underwears. From the very moment you were conceived and bore the XY chromosomes, you future is pretty much sealed. Thanks to a cycle call history. You are a prey, and you would be, at least for the next few years. Your aging grandpa, your dad, your curious brother or troubled cousin, your houseboy. You are to live in pink and plenty of toys that conditions you on your future princess cum housewife status. These toys includes baby dolls that drink, milk and for hell’s sake, pee; Barbie dolls that are enough to make us green with their accessories; fairytale stories that could be blame for what is now a mental condition called Cinderella Syndrome. Your childhood is the beginning of the conditioning. To be a girl is already dangerous. To be a girl and a kid doubles it. You are powerless. You are prone to abuse.
Come adolescence and what you have is curiosity, and a good doze of raging hormones. This is where the trouble begins. Where to look at? Family. Peers. Media. What you will have by then is a mix and match of conflicting ideas just enough to drive you nuts. You begin to have issues with your body, depending on the preferences prescribed by your own culture, or the society. You have parents who teach you virtues from Sunday schools but do otherwise. You read about the 60’s, Western concept of women liberation and wonders if it’s not another propaganda to serve men themselves. You decided to embrace half of it, wear skirts and make-ups for empowerment, explore your sexuality but you are called slut by the same men you slept with, by the same people who taught you that sexual liberty is the way to do be free. You are Eve for the religious and the misogynist. Only they didn’t realize that the pain inflicted by other women to some men is in fact a repercussion of the system they perpetuate themselves. You are also Magdalene and the words they slur on you are bitch, slut, whore, the likes. But then again you read somewhere that Magdalene is Jesus’ wife. You realize that perhaps, Jesus would have been a better lover compared to ones you had.
You feel lost. You cry. Now they call you emotional. Never mind that these people seem to lack the urge to at least do they research to know that women’s tear gland is shallower than men. Then someone from your history class declared that women are incapable decision-makers because they are too emotional. You know better that there is no difference between what a man and a woman feels, only what is it that the society allows. You know women are more open with their emotions because they are allowed to do so while men tend to suppress it because it has been conditioned that showing emotions is a feminine quality, thus making it weak. You know that but you also know better now to keep your mouth shut. It’s scary to be considered a feminist. Since when did being one becomes so bad to a point of ridicule, you will never know, only that some so-called revolutionary groups denounce it saying it create divides. Maybe when the word equality was rendered, who knows. You understand. That, the Madonna complex, the fear of not having control over things they don’t have power with, and the fear that awareness might put them in a slanted position without anyone to fuck. You understand because you’re a woman and this time, it is scientifically proven. You are not expected to engage in public fights but to turn the anger inward because there’s a certain indention in your brain that makes you holistic and better in seeing the entirety of any situation. It doesn’t matter that your serotonin level is 56% lower than men making you more prone to depression. What matters is that it is better to own your anger than release it and be called cheap or “palengkera”, of which you will not to know what is so bad of, while men can stupidly pick fights and get away with it with pride. You accept that, thinking it must be the doing of your own physical limitations so you think of another way to release the anger but before you are able to execute it, you are told that it’s not plausible for a woman to sleep around. You are to know that the specific compartment of your brain that gets stimulated during sexual intercourse is the same one that produces your attachment hormones making every sexual act more emotional compared to men who, according to studies, can compartmentalize. You think it’s unfair and thinks that maybe they just want an excuse for their sowing-seed mentality. You wonder if science is another propaganda to instill fear, twisted like history itself which is mostly but a written memoir on who overpowered whom within a specific timeframe. Of course you also know that in relation to being animals, of which they always use as a valid reason, such mentality is a form of defense mechanism. That was anthrobiology speaking. You remember ant hierarchies.
So somewhere in the middle of your confusion, you get tired competing for men and fighting for something that generates nothing but mockery, sometimes even from members of your own specie. You forgive. You understand. It’s the system. Hate the game not the players, they say. You let go. You let go of the thought that maybe men do think that sex is an act of killing, that maybe breast-sucking is indeed a “missing-mom” syndrome. Or maybe, you had a serious Freudian damage. What you understand though is that your biological clock is ticking. You need to propagate. That is either anthrobiology speaking, or a lingering look from your mom that pressures you.
You try normalcy this time and buy the hype about marriage being the joyous moment of any woman’s life. After all, you like the small promise of security. Never mind that if ever you become a human punching bag, you still couldn’t get divorce. There’s annulment anyway, only it costs a leg and years of struggle, depending on your social status. You have kids, a pair of sagging breasts and bottoms. You have your maternity issues that can sometimes be the reason for work discrimination. You are till prone to abuse- verbal and physical. But you will understand because you are a woman, you have kids, and you understand that some men can’t handle the responsibilities the culture handed upon them. You justify his every action as a manifestation of anything that occurred in the past and damaged him in a way. You know because you are just like that, but you know better to realize and learn. So you let him displaced his anger, his frustrations on everything that they feel powerful over with, like you and the kids, than to have him commit suicide. You have kids to feed and a broken home means a lifetime of mockery for your kids.
You are lucky to grow old but your sexual libido has left you with a philandering hubby, suffering from post midlife crisis. You let it pass. It is your fault that you are a sexual dysfunction and your breasts are wrinkled like prunes. Do not be surprised if one day, the security you worked so hard to maintain will fall easily on the hands of a young girl the age of your granddaughter. But still, you will understand. This is the way of the world, and the system is smart enough to monopolize it. You will understand that to fight with each other, that to women-hate is what the system wants. You understand, not only because you’re a damaged, troubled, demented, deranged, fragmented, bipolar, schizoid, confused, insecure woman, but an experienced one. You always know better it seems.
Part II: What does it mean to be a ‘thinking’ woman today?
[Insert names here.]
Part III: What does it mean to be a ‘good’ woman today?
“Most men love oral sex. Some men even prefer a blow job to full sex. So as oral sex is such a big deal for the boys, we ought to know how to do it well.
Going down on, giving head, sucking off, mouth f***, there are plenty of ways to describe the act of oral sex, but they're all talking about the same thing - sexual pleasure, down there, using your mouth.
What is oral sex (blow job)?
To give the Latin name, fellatio, (aka blow job), is an oral sex act which involves stimulating the penis using the tongue, lips and mouth. Most men are fans of the blow job as it gives him intense sexual sensations and can bring him to orgasm.
How to give oral sex:
As a rule, oral sex should mimic the movements of full sex penetration and while it's called a blow job - there's no blowing involved! Don't make that rookie mistake!
Instead, blow like a pro and take his penis into your mouth, (with plenty of spit) and suck up and down his shaft mimicking the thrusting motion of penetration, taking care not to graze his 'friend' with your teeth. Remember when it comes to sucking him off, teeth are never welcome.
One thing men don’t like is mechanical oral sex, performed without passion. He wants to know that you're enjoying it as much as him, so vary your rhythm, speed and intensity. Try gently caressing his testicles and then try upping the pace for a few strokes. Take him to the edge then bring him back from the brink to get him revved up and eager for more.
Lick, suck and play with his erect penis using your tongue. Don't be shy to make eye contact too. To make sure you’re hitting the spot, watch and listen to his reactions. Ask him what he likes. All men are different and he'll be thrilled that you want to know exactly how to please him.
Giving good head isn't rocket science, but there are some top tips, tried and tested, that will help make your next blow job one to remember. Read on for the so feminine secrets on how to be a 'head' mistress. Oh yeah.”
Learn to give the best blowjobs. It does wonders.
-Brigida Batungbakal
